DR. HADLEY sits in her office.
She looks tired. DR. RAMIREZ enters. She is slightly younger and just as tired.
HADLEY: Dr. Ramirez, thank you for coming on such short notice. Please sit down.
RAMIREZ: Oh, terrific. Any chance to get off my feet.
HADLEY: Mmm. Yes. First year as an intern. Hell, isn’t it?
RAMIREZ: On wheels. Minus the wheels. (They laugh, a little. Then the speak at the same time.)
HADLEY: I was—
RAMIREZ: (overlapping) Did you—
HADLEY: I’m sorry.
RAMIREZ: No, go ahead.
HADLEY: I wanted to talk to you about the patient (beat) who died yesterday.
RAMIREZ: Yes. Let’s talk about that.
HADLEY: You know the one I mean, of course.
RAMIREZ: Of course.
HADLEY: Well I was wondering…We, the administrators were wondering, if um…if maybe you’d mind signing a confidentiality agreement?
RAMIREZ: (frowning, slightly suspicious) …Why?
HADLEY: Well it’s, it’s very delicate, the whole thing. Naturally I wouldn’t want you to feel pressured. But really it’s for your protection as well. So that there’s no speculation, so that worst-case scenario you don’t have to deal with scrutiny.
RAMIREZ: It’s just that…all patients are confidential. Right?
HADLEY: Yeah. There’s that. (Rubs her temples, and speaks openly for the first time) Look I don’t need to tell you how incredibly messed up this is.
RAMIREZ: (Meeting Hadley’s candor with candor) What was it?
HADLEY: (Not sure how to answer that, or even what the answer is) You saw the same thing I saw. Oh, and I wanted to thank you again for how well you handled the whole thing. I know it was hard, but you were so graceful and compassionate—
RAMIREZ: Isn’t that our job?
HADLEY: You’d hope so, wouldn’t you.
RAMIREZ: (Pause) How old was that young man? Twenty? Twenty-one?…Fifty?
HADLEY: Um…(looks at chart) He was, uh, he was twenty-four.
RAMIREZ: (breathes out) Jesus. How much did he weigh?
HADLEY: Let’s see…it says that at the time of death he weighed…dear lord, just under a hundred pounds. Which, given his height…
RAMIREZ: He looked like a Holocaust victim.
HADLEY: Don’t let anyone hear you say that. I mean, it’s not inaccurate…As I said, I appreciate how compassionate you are. Not to mention tactful. And discreet.
RAMIREZ: Yeah. Dr. Hadley, thank you for the compliment, let me return it by saying you’re a great supervisor. Now, permission to speak freely?
HADLEY: Oh God yes.
RAMIREZ: Please don’t bull shit me.
HADLEY: I promise I won’t.
RAMIREZ: I’ll ask you again. What was that?
HADLEY: I really don’t know.
RAMIREZ: But…you have some idea.
HADLEY: I know that the CDC doesn’t know, and that itself is fairly terrifying. (Laughs bitterly) The CDC knows everything, right?
RAMIREZ: So…it’s happened before. (Pause) Fuck.
HADLEY: (agreeing) Fuck.
RAMIREZ: Does it have a genetic element?
HADLEY: I don’t know. It doesn’t seem likely.
RAMIREZ: But I mean…There’s a type that’s more likely to be struck down. Isn’t there? (to self) So it could be some sort of curse, but that’s absurd. Unless…No, it’s absurd. The world is cruel but it’s random. Oh god. Oh god.
HADLEY: What? Listen, Rosa—
RAMIREZ: Am I safe?
HADLEY: (defensively) Why wouldn’t you be? You wore gloves, didn’t you?
RAMIREZ: No, I mean…my roommate and I. Are we safe?
HADLEY: Your….(realizing) Oh. You have a “roommate.”
RAMIREZ: (Significantly) Yes.
HADLEY: I see. (reflecting) So you’ve heard whispers.
RAMIREZ: I try not to listen to them. But they echo in the hallway, you know? A hospital isn’t a sterile place for gossip.
HADLEY: We think…they think, it only affects one type of…(searching for the word) demographic.
RAMIREZ: Um…That’s what I’m afraid of.
HADLEY: One very specific type within that demographic. One (clears throat) gender. So no, I don’t think you and your roommate are among the vulnerable population.
RAMIREZ: Thank you. Thank god.
HADLEY: Still, we should keep this talk theoretical. My own politics aside…I don’t want you to tell me anything that the hospital isn’t allowed to know.
RAMIREZ: I understand. I’m used to language games. But the stakes have never been so…horrific.
HADLEY: It’s disturbing, I know it is. But I don’t want you to, um, to worry about…I see no reason that you’re more at risk than, say, I am.
RAMIREZ: (relieved) Yeah, I didn’t think so either. But you never know. It’s like, I went to med school—my paranoia didn’t!
HADLEY: That’ll change in time. My paranoia is practically a psychiatrist at this point!
RAMIREZ: Great, so I have something to look forward to.
(They laugh, nervously. Pause)
RAMIREZ: Do we know where it comes from?
HADLEY: “They” might. I personally do not. I really don’t know much more than you do.
RAMIREZ: Why homosexual men?
HADLEY: Hell if I know. It would be a logical assumption that sex is involved somehow.
RAMIREZ: So…It definitely isn’t airborne. We’re definitely safe.
HADLEY: It probably isn’t airborne. We’re probably safe.
RAMIREZ: (Screaming) WHAT?
HADLEY: Forgive me, I shouldn’t have been so candid. But you told me not to bull shit you.
RAMIREZ: WELL I WAS LYING!
HADLEY: Dammit Ramirez, get yourself together! As a doctor and as your superior I assure you we’re safe.
RAMIREZ: (Calming down a little) Oh Jesus….
HADLEY: I understand. Still. Our paranoia doesn’t wear the robes. We wear the robes. We’re women of science, not rumor, not panic. We uphold the oath. We have to stay sane.
RAMIREZ: (Takes a deep breath) Right. You’re right.
HADLEY: So. There it is. (pause) It’s ugly, isn’t it. When you only know that things are bad, but not how awful the details are.
RAMIREZ: Details, OK. I know what that young man’s body looked like. Lisa….
HADLEY: Yes?
RAMIREZ: What I saw reminded me of—I almost don’t want to ask this….
HADLEY: That’s OK, I probably don’t know the answer.
RAMIREZ: Is this the plague?
HADLEY: Define “plague.”
RAMIREZ: Um…no.
HADLEY: Fair enough. In any case, I’m sure it isn’t the end of humanity. We’re fairly robust.
RAMIREZ: That honestly hadn’t occurred to me. That it was the end of humanity. So, thank you for that.
HADLEY: It hadn’t? Well, now it has. You’re welcome. Glad to know my bedside manner hasn’t gotten dusty through disuse.
RAMIREZ: Oh god, please stop talking.
HADLEY: Insubordinate! Your permission to speak freely is hereby rescinded!
RAMIREZ: Too late. Is it wrong that we’re being somewhat light-hearted?
HADLEY: Not at all. It’s this or slow suicide. (Hands her the papers) Read it over. It’s for your professional safety, it really is. Of course if you’d rather not sign it—
RAMIREZ: No, I understand. (reads)
HADLEY: You know, in the times of the plague, doctors wore those long masks with the grotesque bird beaks, so they wouldn’t breathe in death. Our latex gloves aren’t perfect, but they’re much better protection than masks, crosses, garlic, roses, you know, all that stuff. And you were wearing gloves when you touched him.
RAMIREZ: I know. (signs it, hands it back to her) I feel much better now.
HADLEY: We’re going to get through this.
RAMIREZ: You mean the hospital?
HADLEY: The hospital, the country. You, me, everyone. Well…maybe not everyone. But most people. OK?
RAMIREZ: Lucky most people.
HADLEY: Yes, the vast majority of us will die of cancer and heart disease. You know the numbers.
RAMIREZ: Actually I’m thinking of developing a drug problem.
HADLEY: Way ahead of you.
(Pause. They break out into hysterical laughter)
HADLEY: So, I’m not technically allowed to do this, and while I most likely wouldn’t lose my job for what I’m about to suggest, I would certainly be reprimanded—
RAMIREZ: Yeahhh, you know, I’m flattered but—
HADLEY: Fuck off.
RAMIREZ: OK.
HADLEY: (producing a bottle) Whiskey?
RAMIREZ: YES.
INSTANT NOODLES 