The best cookies are made from scratch and love.
But the ultimate cookies are the ones made from Old Scratch.
You capture the true essence of indulgence
in these devilishly sinful treats.
The ground bonemeal flour is divine,
you must hand-mill the flour,
but the added time and effort is worth the end results.
The lard from flesh adds a little something extra
and provides crisp tuile edges
and the beautiful baked results are tinted
a rich deep red without any food coloring.
Blackstrap molasses can’t compare to
the natural delicate sulfurous sweetness.
Start at midnight at a crossroads,
Draw a pentagram on parchment paper.
Negotiate.
Use force.
Use Angelic wards.
Reverse the SATOR squares,
Invert the Seal of Solomon,
Use as many upbaptised and lambs as necessary for sacrifice
Do whatever it takes to get the finest ingredients.
Whatever it takes, not joking!
No shortcuts for excellence.
Drag them home on a full-size sheet pan.
Bake at gas mark 3 for infinity.
Enjoy with a glass of goat’s milk.
INSTANT NOODLES 